Receiving correction is hard for many children, but for kids with ADHD, it can feel overwhelming or even crushing. They may hear criticism more often than praise, misinterpret tone or intent, or react defensively. Helping your child learn to process feedback with confidence—and without shame—is key to their emotional growth and resilience.
Why Feedback Can Be Tough for Children with ADHD
Children with ADHD may:
- Feel criticized more frequently than their peers
- Struggle with emotional regulation when corrected
- Interpret even gentle feedback as a personal attack
- Become defensive or shut down completely
Teaching them how to receive feedback is just as important as teaching them new skills.
1. Lead With Emotional Safety
Before offering correction:
- Get down to their level
- Use a calm tone and facial expression
- Remind them: “This is not about being in trouble—it’s about learning.”
Emotional safety reduces defensiveness.
2. Use “Positive Sandwich” Feedback
Structure it like this:
- Positive observation: “You worked hard on this.”
- Correction: “Let’s fix this one part together.”
- Encouragement: “You’re learning fast!”
This softens the impact and encourages receptiveness.
3. Focus on the Behavior, Not the Person
Avoid: “You’re always so careless.”
Instead: “This part was rushed—let’s try it again slowly.”
This separates their actions from their identity.
4. Give Feedback Privately, Not Publicly
Correct gently when others aren’t watching—especially with siblings or in class.
Public correction can feel embarrassing and trigger shame.
5. Offer Specific, Actionable Suggestions
Avoid vague criticism like “Be more careful.”
Try: “Check each math problem with a calculator before moving on.”
Clarity helps ADHD brains implement change.
6. Model Receiving Feedback Yourself
Say:
- “You’re right, I forgot that part. I’ll fix it—thanks!”
- “That’s helpful feedback. I’m going to try your idea.”
Modeling calm responses teaches by example.
7. Help Them Reflect (After the Moment)
Later, ask:
- “How did that feel?”
- “What could help next time?”
- “What’s one thing you did really well?”
Reflection builds emotional insight.
8. Reinforce Growth Mindset Language
Teach them to say:
- “I’m still learning.”
- “Mistakes help me grow.”
- “Feedback means someone believes I can improve.”
This turns correction into a stepping stone—not a setback.
9. Celebrate Feedback Used Successfully
Acknowledge when they apply feedback:
- “You fixed that without getting upset—awesome progress.”
- “You listened, made a change, and it paid off. Proud of you.”
Reinforcing calm responses builds motivation to keep growing.
10. Be Patient—Reactions Will Improve Over Time
Expect emotional pushback at first. Over time:
- Feedback will feel less like a threat
- Recovery after correction will be quicker
- Confidence will replace self-doubt
Consistency + compassion = resilience.
Final Thought
Criticism doesn’t have to feel like an attack. With emotional safety, gentle delivery, and supportive follow-up, your ADHD child can learn to accept feedback as a tool—not a judgment. And when they do, they gain not only new skills—but a deeper belief in their own capacity to grow.